


Waking Up in This Body

by bbuckyy



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Fluff, Nonbinary Bucky Barnes, Other, Precious Peter Parker, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Trans Peter Parker, Trans Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-02-27 17:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13253337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbuckyy/pseuds/bbuckyy
Summary: Steve Rogers still remembers when he had to go by a different name. Bucky Barnes still remembers when they had to wear different clothes. Peter Parker still remembers when he called his teacher "Mom".





	1. Making Waffles

**Author's Note:**

> so i wrote this at midnight but i'm proud of it so idc. rest assured there will be more trans peter parker in coming chapters. look forward to backgrounds on everybody :)

Steve still wasn’t used to waking up in this body. Sometimes he’d go to rub his crusty eyes in the morning and he’d become overjoyed when he saw the muscular arm reaching toward his face and the masculine chest it was attached to, usually assuming he was in a dream. He was really very lucky with his transition. Sure, he had grown up in a time where there was no such thing as being trans, but he’d gotten the serum. That magic elixir that had eliminated the need for surgery, and shots, and doubt from strangers. And then on top of it all he got to wake up in the most accepting decade yet. Sure, it wasn’t perfect, nowhere near it, but compared to the 40’s, it was a dream. When he woke up after being frozen and given access to the Internet for the first time, the first thing he did once deciphering Google was find out if there were other people like him. Boy were there! He was expecting a couple dozen guys in his situation, but he found a community of thousands, nay, millions! Fast forward a couple months and he spent all his free time donating to and volunteering at LGBT centers across America.  
Today he was expecting his body, though. He was still delighted it was there, but he had gotten a little more used to it. He rolled over, sleep still hanging from his eyelids, and threw his arms over his partner, his beloved Bucky. It had taken some haggling with Tony to let Bucky stay with him, but he had triumphed over the cocky billionaire, convincing him that Bucky might have night terrors, and that he was the only one who could calm them down.  
“Hey, Buck,” he gently shook his partner, their metal arm cool to the touch. “We gotta get up and save the world!”  
Bucky groaned and opened their dark eyes. “You say that every day. We’re only going to the Center.” They were, of course, referring to the LGBT Community Center down in the city.  
“Oh, come on, Bucky,” Steve objected, “We’re not only going to the Center. We’re gonna go help some kids! Some kids who really need it, just like you and I needed it.” Bucky grumbled something about not having anything to wear. “C’mon, I did some laundry yesterday, you have plenty to wear. Femme, masc, you name it. Just throw something on and I’ll make breakfast.”  
Bucky would’ve protested and begged for another five minutes, but the mention of breakfast woke them right up. They sat up, stretched out, and began looking through their extensive wardrobe. Steve threw on some deodorant, jeans, and a t-shirt, and went down to the communal kitchen at the Avengers HQ to start on his famous Belgian waffle batter.  
After some egg-breaking and cream-whipping, Steve plopped the thick, sticky batter into the waffle press just as Bucky came down the stairs. They were wearing ripped blue jeans, cuffed at the ankles to reveal floral socks tucked into white Adidas. Above the jeans was a sleeveless floral button-down shirt with the collar buttoned all the way up, and their hair was pulled into a messy ponytail with a scrunchie the same red as the star on their metallic left arm. Steve always felt like a slob next to Bucky, no matter how much they claimed it was a “casual day”.  
Bucky sauntered over to their boyfriend and gave him a kiss on the cheek right as Tony walked in.  
“Get a room, lovebirds,” he declared sarcastically. He was clad in nothing but a blue bathrobe and pink bunny slippers. His eyes lit up behind his yellow-tinted sunglasses when they caught sight of Steve’s messy apron. “Ooo, waffles! Make some more batter will you? I’m hungry and the Spiderling came over last night while you two were out on the town.”  
“Oh?” Steve raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t know Peter was here.”  
“Yeah he needs some help figuring out his suit.” Tony waved his hand while he fixed himself a cup of coffee. “God forbid he finds some of those features before I teach him about them.”  
Steve remembers the first time he met Peter after the fight at the airport. Tony had invited him over for dinner and a tour of the headquarters, and Peter had come with a full suitcase (“just in case!”). Steve had a mouthful of popcorn when Peter and Tony found him and Bucky watching a movie on the couch. Bucky turned an unfortunate shade of red when Peter started examining their arm, and Tony had to practically rip Peter away. Steve quickly had to swallow his mouthful of popcorn so he could introduce himself to Peter.  
He extended a buttery hand for Peter to eagerly grab. “Hi I’m Steve,” the captain started, “I believe we’ve met before?” Peter turned nearly as red as Bucky and nervously laughed about the battle.  
“Yeah,” Peter nervously rubbed the back of his neck and turned toward Bucky, “Sorry for throwing that sign at you,” Bucky sighed and waved as Peter looked back at Steve “and stealing your shield.”  
“Hey, I’m sorry for making you hold that truck for so long,” Steve chuckled and extended his hand once more, “We even?”  
Peter smiled and his eyes lit up, “Even.”  
Needless to say, Peter ended up leaving half of the contents of his suitcase around the common areas, but Steve didn’t have time to think about that as the timer on his waffles went off. He lifted two golden brown waffles out of the press and dropped them onto plates. He slid them across the table just as Peter came down the stairs in pajamas with his own face plastered all over them.  
Tony couldn’t help but laugh. “Fuck, Peter!”  
“Hey! Watch your language around the kid!” Steve exclaimed.  
“It’s okay, Captain Rogers,” Peter yawned, “I’ve heard much worse from Miss Romanov”  
“See, ‘Captain’?” Tony mocked, “The kid’s heard worse.”  
“Oh, just eat your waffle, Anthony, Buck and I have somewhere to be today.”


	2. Blueberry Muffin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 40s suck major ass for Steve. Asthma, heart arrhythmia, scoliosis. Coming out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alskdfj sorry this took so long!!! enjoy the long chapter though, and expect backstory on bucky and peter later!! (also shout out to my friend allison for proofreading this longass mess. you're a real one, b)

Steve woke up in his shabby apartment on a mattress he found in the street. He was surrounded by papers and books, all containing medical records and military requirements, all covered in intricate doodles. He yawned and stretched out his scrawny arms, upset to feel the weight of his breasts still attached to his ribs. He was wearing a large undershirt he got at a charity event, but it was large enough on him to be a nightgown. He stood up and began to rummage through his small wardrobe to find his small brassiere and a casual dress. He had a small mirror propped up against the wall, but he kept it covered in a sheet to avoid looking at his reflection. That was about the most he could do for himself, besides keep his hair as short as culture would allow. After eating a piece of bread for breakfast, he headed toward the door. Before he could exit it, however, someone else had to enter through it.

“Bucky,” the sight of his best friend took Steve by surprise, “w-what’re you doin’ here?” Steve couldn’t help but cringe at his high-pitched voice.

“Hey there, Steph,” Bucky was wearing a nice dress shirt barely tucked into his trousers, collar unbuttoned in signature Bucky Barnes fashion. “Thought I’d surprise you and take you out to breakfast?”

“Uh, sure Buck,” It was no secret that there was something between Bucky and Steve (Stephanie to the rest of the world), but they were both hesitant about starting anything. Steve because of the unbearable discomfort of traditional romantic gender roles, and Bucky because he felt like Steph was keeping something from him.

Breakfast was excellent. Bucky wasn’t rich, but he wasn’t as poor as as Steve, so they at least got to have coffee and a muffin (which was more than Steve could even dream of affording). They had lots of laughs, as per usual, and lots of knowing glances from elderly New Yorkers who knew what love looked like when they saw it. They ate their muffins and drank their coffee before walking down to Central Park to spend this beautiful, sunny Saturday morning together. Bucky could feel Steve holding his breath.

“Alright, Steph, what is it?” Bucky glared down at his small companion sitting on the bench beside him.

“Wha?” Steve’s mouth was full of blueberry muffin, and he had to take a moment to chew and swallow before attempting to answer again. “Sorry, what do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. We’ve been best friends since first grade, you really think I can’t tell when you’re keeping something from me?”

Shit. Fuck. Shit. He’d been found out. Kind of. Steve knew he couldn’t have kept hiding this from Bucky for forever, but he would’ve liked to be the one initiating his outing. _Oh well_ , Steve thought to himself, _now or never_.

“Guess I’m not that good at keeping secrets,” Steve chuckled, “s’pose this won’t be real easy for either of us.”

“Go on, you crazy bird.”

Steve sighed. He was shaking, and he felt a lump in his throat. “Jeez, I don’t even know how to say it.” _You can do this. He’s your best friend. He’ll understand_. “Okay. So, you’re a guy. And you feel like a guy, and you have all the parts to be one. So what if that was all still true, except for the last one. What if you didn’t have the right parts, and no one actually thought you were a guy except for you, and they all called you by the wrong name, and you don’t know if this is even something you can feel, and you’re afraid everyone will hate you for it, and what if--”

“Steph.” Bucky interrupted his quivering best friend. “Is that how you feel? Are you a man?”

Steve nodded solemnly, tears in his eyes. “And what if you were in love with your best friend in the whole world, and you were afraid telling him all this would ruin your chances?”

Bucky was silent for a moment, before reaching up a hand to grasp Steve’s neck and pull their heads together, pressing their lips into a kiss. When Bucky pulled away, Steve had tears running down his face. He began to sob, and shoved his face into Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky let him cry before holding him up to look in his sparkling blue eyes.

“You’re the handsomest fella I’ve ever seen. If you say you’re a man, then that’s it. You’re a man. And if you’re in love with me, and I’m in love with you, well, I don’t exactly know what to call it, but it feels right to me.” Steve spent the rest of the morning crying into Bucky, hell, Bucky shed a few tears of his own, but eventually Bucky had to get to work, so he walked Steve home.

When they approached Steve’s cramped apartment, Bucky planted a kiss on Steve’s lips before saying goodbye.

Steve felt giddy all afternoon, and well into the evening. At around eleven o’clock at night, when he was researching these new German sex change experiments, a knock on the door interrupted his giddiness.

“Stephanie!” Steve’s landlord sounded tired and angry- the worst possible combination of emotions for a landlord to have. “Your fella’s on the phone downstairs!”

“Uh, shit, coming, Mr. O’Malley!” Steve closed his book, threw on a robe and ran downstairs, trying to avoid Mr. O’Malley’s odious glare as he walked back into his apartment and slammed the door. Steve picked up the receiver on the telephone in the lobby and put it to his ear.

“Bucky?”

“Hey, Steph, wait no, fuck.” Bucky sounded nervous.

“What’s the matter, is something wrong?”

“Yeah, I don’t know what the hell to call you.” Bucky chuckled through the phone. “I can’t very well call a man Stephanie.”

“Aw jeez, Buck, I hadn’t even gotten that far.”

“Well do you need help picking a new name?”

“I guess so. Have any ideas?”

“Well you’re old name’s Stephanie, so we should probably start there. How about Steven?”

“Kinda formal. What about just Steve?” Just saying that name out loud made Steve feel warm in his chest. “Yeah, that’s the one. Steve. Steve Rogers.”

“Steve. I like it. Well, Steve, whaddaya say you meet me outside my building tomorrow night at, say, one am? I got a surprise for ya.”

“Jeez, it’d better be good if I gotta stay up that late.”

“See you then, Stevie, I love you.” Oh, _fuck_ , did that sentence make Steve feel some things.

“I-I love you, too.” Steve hung up the phone, as red as a tomato. He ran up the stairs into his small apartment and shut the door, screaming into his pillow as happy tears rolled down his cheeks.

 

 

Sunday came and went, and all the while Steve was glancing at the clock, waiting for another hour, another minute, another second to pass so he’d be that much closer to one am. He spent the night reading up on military admittance and this sexologist named Kinsey until about 12:15, at which point he snuck out of his apartment building and ran six blocks to Bucky’s flat. He looked down at his small, stolen watch to check the time: 12:58, right on time. Steve heard a clamor above him and looked up to see Bucky leaning over the top of the building.

“Come on up!” Bucky whisper-yelled down to his boyfriend.

Steve struggled up the six stories of fire escape, all the while lecturing Bucky about his asthma, and heart arrhythmia, and this, and that, etc, etc…. Until he reached the top, where Bucky is waiting, candles are lit, and a large white box had a red ribbon wrapped around it. Bucky is beaming, and is very clearly hiding something behind his back.

“Jeez, Buck, what the hell is all this?” Steve is at a loss for words.

“Your surprise! C’mon and open it so we can get to the main event.” Bucky winked.

Steve sat down, unwrapped the bow, and opened the box to find three dress shirts and two pairs of slacks, along with suspenders, a belt, and shoes. Steve felt tears well up in his eyes. “Bucky… you didn’t have to do all this for me… how much did this cost?”

“Oh, c’mon, that doesn’t matter. I had some money I was keeping for a rainy day, and I figured this was a better use. Besides, we can’t have Steve Rogers running around in dresses.” Steve looked down at his tattered floral smock- Bucky was right. “Oh, and at the bottom is a pretty tight undershirt. I thought that might help with the…” Bucky gestured to his chest, keeping one arm behind his back, concealing the final surprise. “I-If you want, you can change over there, promise I won’t look.” Bucky grinned a cunning smile, and Steve grabbed his new clothes and changed behind a vent.

“Well?” Steve turned around, and Bucky opened his eyes, still holding something behind his back.

“Holy shit…” Bucky had never seen a more handsome man in his life. Steve had no idea how to dress himself (shirt buttons were going through the wrong holes, his fly was down, God knows what was going on with his suspenders), but it was so charming, and so lovable. Bucky bent down to kiss his boyfriend. “Here, last surprise.” Bucky pulled his hands out from behind his back, revealing a pair of shiny silver scissors. He snipped the air a couple times. “The final touch.”

A smile spread across Steve’s face, tears once again sprouting in his eyes. “Let’s do this.” Bucky spent forty-five minutes trimming and snipping and shaping Steve’s hair into the perfect masculine shape. He sculpted the top so it could be parted or slicked back, and made sure to keep the back short and square. At 2:15, when his shoes were covered in discarded blond locks, he held up a mirror for Steve to see. This time, the tears didn’t just sit in his eyes, they rolled down his cheeks and pooled under his chin.

“Bucky,” he could barely speak through the sniffles, “thank you so much. I never thought I’d be this happy.” Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve’s small frame from behind and swayed back and forth, heart filled with warmth, grinning ear to ear. Steve turned around to face Bucky, dropping the mirror on his old dress. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, punk.” Bucky gripped Steve’s head and pressed his lips onto Steve’s. The kiss was strong and passionate, but it was also sweet and giddy. They kissed for five whole minutes, sparks flying the whole time, before Steve pulled away and ran his fingers through Bucky’s short hair. He gazed into his boyfriend’s eyes before finally speaking: “How the fuck am I gonna explain this to my landlord?”


End file.
